Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category


Fail Druid misses ICC Alt run

July 9, 2010

Very unhappy with my guild tonight. The “alt run” started recruiting 45 mins early and took in pugs over guildies =( At least 6 guildies logged in at the normal time just to be told, “…..” ya. silence. the person running it was an ex-officer, and i was less than impressed with the maturity of the response. sigh. Keeping my fingers crossed that something positive comes out of this greedy violation of the guild’s trust in getting a place in Risen raids.


When The Going Gets Tough, Real Hardcore Raiders Dont Get Squishie

May 5, 2010

Larisa over at The Pink Pigtail Inn wrote a great blog on which qualities make a guild truly Hardcore. In her article, ‘A Hardcore Guild in its True Sense‘ she states:

It’s in those moments that your guild will reveal its true nature. How does it look beneath the surface – are you solid when you’re put at trial? Are you a hardcore guild in its true sense – meaning that you have a core that will endure and find ways to overcome the challenges? Or are there squishies among you, players who get cranky, bitter, blaming others, not taking responsibility or just hiding away from the problems when the success doesn’t come easily?

And it got me thinking. I mean.. my guildies, while they are great people and fun to be around, don’t always fit into the mold of a true hardcore guild. I often wonder if we got more professional about how we react to things, if we wouldn’t be even FURTHER along than we already are. I think its undeniable that if most guilds were mature in their dealings with frustration and constructive criticism they wouldn’t have recruitment problems. Look around at the forums, in this pre-catalyst expansion era, with raid leaders blogging that they can’t fill slots, guilds with a solid positive atmosphere aren’t hurting for the best of the best recruits.

But I can’t complain, most of the time it’s all good. People get along well enough, and the few personalities that are habitually bitter seem to be aware that they tend to implode and usually hold back. But it only takes one night of setbacks, and the same few people who always get flustered when things aren’t a face roll, start in with gripes and complaints and the usual passive-aggressive comments.

Last night the fuss started up over dispelling Lady Deathspeaker’s Curse of Torpor. One person was upset over who does it and who doesn’t. Unfortunately they lost their composure and made passive aggressive comments in vent and in raid chat instead of politely approaching the other dispel people directly. The negative feelings spread to a few others; folks chiming in, posting recounts, and questioning class responsibilities and what not, and before you knew it, people were walking on eggshells desperately trying to not set off the more intolerant volatile personalities. I kept wanting to pipe up with advice and remind them that it doesn’t MATTER how many dispels they or another person had done, as long as it gets done. But I knew from past experience that trying to help defuse things would only further ignite the griping to an all-out attack if they realized they had an audience.

Maybe its just me being a grumpy 42 year-old mom, but I think if people are responsibly mature and genuinely “hardcore” they won’t behave like real life “squishies”. Instead they will focus on getting the job done and be a pleasure to have around when things get tough. If the officers wont guide us, it lands on the shoulders of the guild members to be proactive and amicably take the initiative to work out simple raid duties like dispels.

It’s a comfort reading other blogs and seeing the guild recruitment posts. They all point out that I am not alone in being dismayed over having to spend my evening around folks who display such poor coping skills. Most guilds are trying to flush out gamers who display inadequate conflict resolution. As the average gaming population ages, and WoW becomes more mainstream, things are slowly getting better. But things are still far from perfect. Even the best guilds have a few entrenched people who act like spoiled children when things get rough. Those of us that enjoy progression nights and work hard to stay focused and effective, end up dragging the grumps through the content. I figure that those kind of gamers, while undeniably talented and a seeming asset to the raid team (until you realize just how many people their griping have driven out of the guild), stubbornly stick it out on hard nights soley for the glory and the loot. It clearly doesn’t seem like they are enjoying themselves.

But I don’t want to be all doom and gloom. Plus, I recognize that everyone goes through this learning curve at some stage in their life – it takes a bit of time for humans to grow up and decide to be a positive force rather than dependent on others for their happiness and prosperity. Being professional and truly “hardcore” takes practice, and sometimes, a little advice. Here are some tips you can share with your guild when people get discouraged or angry over lack of progression:

1) Don’t add to the Din: if you are getting mad at someone or notice they are struggling with the same content – no matter how angry they make you – step back and try to decide if adding your voice to the advice they are getting will affect things positively. Sometimes too much advice or too many people coming at someone trying to help only makes things worse. Its called performance anxiety and the spotlight on another player not only magnifies any faults they may have, the extra attention can also cause more problems from the added stress.

2) The guild really isn’t as scrubby as it appears right now: If your fellow guildie is making mistakes or the raid isn’t moving though content at a normal pace that night, refrain from commenting about it in vent or raid chat during the raid. While it may seem that everyone around you is a screw-up, the fact that your guild is advanced to this stage of progression means your fellow guildies actually do have skills to do things right. Remembering that the people behind the avatars, and the voices in vent, are skilled gamers who want to kill the boss just as much as you do, helps you keep your perspective when you are frustrated.

3) Composure = respectability: If it gets bad, and you are only seeing red or can’t stop the negative thoughts, just log out. Do it politely and exit gracefully. Any good officer will understand and support you in this – especially if they see you making progress in your reactions towards others. You do yourself and the guild a HUGE favor by stopping the chain of negativity – not allowing your mind to dwell on negative things and preventing negative behavior towards others. Remember, only YOU can choose how you spend your evenings. You decide if you want to spend the night arguing and fussing and being upset, or if you wish to spend your night smiling, laughing, and having a good time being around good friends.

4) They make the big bucks, let them do the hard work: If you have a tendency to let your aggravation over the situation come through in your advice, sometimes asking an officer to intervene with constructive criticism is the best choice. In fact, that is why they are officers – they get to wear the asbestos panties. People usually don’t resent an officer pointing out their faults and helping them with their performance – but you can bet that most players don’t like it when other players attempt to do the same, no matter how good the intentions.

I hope this helps someone out there. I know I have seen many people in this game grow up emotionally over the five plus years I have been raiding. Its always a delight and a joy to be in a raid or a guild with well-behaved gamers that put effort into maintaining a positive hardcore progression environment. As in any sport or competitive hobby, expecting the best and getting excellent results doesn’t mean you gotta act like spoiled children towards each other. In fact, that sort of mature behavior is what is considered the standard for labeling people “pro’s”.


another facepalm moment – Healing heroics as a Fresh 80

May 4, 2010

A new article over on recommends that fresh new level 80 priests jump straight into healing heroic dungeons after leveling.

“Don’t waste your time toiling in normal dungeons, trying to find one upgrade at a time while getting no badges.”

They urge you go to the Auction House and “Just buy one or two pieces and then trying queuing for a heroic dungeon. If you still get an error message telling you that your gear isn’t good enough, buy another piece and repeat the process until you can queue.”

This kind of stuff makes me scared. I mean, if you got a guild who is willing to mentor you or whatever, with a little patience and understanding, and some help, it would certainly work out. But new level 80 healers that, due to the nature of leveling gear, struggle for mana and are still learning how to heal and work the buttons need a bit more prepping than this if they are gonna roll in the unforgiving world of the Dungeon Finder tool.

It was one of Blizzard’s stated goals, back in the days they were leaking design news about Wrath, to have people run regular dungeons a little (not a lot, I realize this, but certainly a little) before they could jump straight into heroics. Most of us leveled in guilds and had friends who carried us a bit on our first heroic or two when we hit 80. In fact, I remember my fresh drood Alt failing to heal Utguard Pinnacle on a boss, and needing the DPS shammie to lend a hand. I can only imagine what kind of unhappy trauma would happen to a fresh 80 priest using the cross-realm Dungeon Finder if they hopped in there looking to heal a heroic right off the get go.

For the most part, my experience has shown me that a fresh 80 priest will have a MUCH easier time and learn the ropes faster (with less trauma) if they simply pug a 25man raid like VOA or one of the lower tier dungeon runs. More often than not, people in a lower tier 25man raid are there for badges or the weekly raid quest and dont mind a new healer that is trying to gear up. We’ve all been there with a new alt, and most people understand how it is at that level. Plus, in a 25-man, there are enough other healers to provide a cushion for the new 80 to fall back on when things get tight.

Telling fresh to level 80 healers to jump into heroics with their leveling greens/blues and only enough items to squeeze past the gear level verification mechanics in the Dungeon Finder Tool is irresponsible and thoughtless. The four other people in that heroic depending on that  poor new level-80 healbot aren’t going to appreciate it either.… you CAN do better than this. =(

edit… actually, they HAVE done better than this. An earlier article on reads: Heroics as a fresh 80: Don’t be that guy. Anyone have any ideas why their policy changed?


The rise of the Great 25man Social Guilds

April 26, 2010

This post was inspired by: Still Going to Run 25s? | World of Matticus.

Blue Poster Nethaera released the a groundbreaking statement today on the forums about the future of raiding in Azeroth. Read the full thread here. A lot was said about the future structure of raiding, but the points that interested me the most are:

  • Heroic modes will all be toggled on and off per boss like we do now in ICC.
  • Ten and 25 man raids will share the same lockout period.
  • The same loot will drop of ten man bosses as drop off 25man bosses.
  • Amount (not ilevel) of gear dropped is scaled up for 25mans to compensate for more people in the raid.

While I get that this is supposed to not affect the viability of 25man raiding, I don’t really see how we can avoid human nature. Like water choosing the easiest path downhill, I can see how this news will endanger the future of 25man raiding. The news is good for the clique raiders, and the small groups of exclusive buddies and even for the lucky few who made friends on their server before the new Dungeon Finder Tool shredded the traditional way you met other gamers in your community. They will all now have their 10mans and don’t need a larger group to get their kills and their loot. But what I foresee for the rest of us that try to cling to the old way is endless 25man pugs which eventually dwindle into the ten-man snatch-and-grabs much like we see in VOA 10’s today.

i WILL heal you and you WILL like itFurthermore, I don’t know about you… But I work much harder as a healer in tens than I ever have had to do in 25’s. Unless you over gear the instance, I find many of these fights are tough for a disc priest. Combine it with “hard modes” where you have another single-target  healer like a pally and you are looking at a quick trip to the respec lady in IF if you want to keep your raid spot. Furthermore, the pace is more hectic and less enjoyable. With less room for error, and less opportunities to have a mana break or take your eyes off the screen for a nano-second if there is an emergency or whatever, I foresee a faster burnout pace than I did with the 25man raids.

Lastly, 10man raiding doesn’t have the social epic feel that the old 40mans do. Nor do they have the cool large-group of buddies feel that the 25mans do. With less reason than ever to get along with various personalities for the good of the group (and the gear drops, lets face it), its going to be the death knell for a lot of us. I know I will be less inclined to stick around in a 25man guild if there are jerks in raid and Ventrillo clowns like we put up with in 25’s. There have been plenty of times I thought about shopping for a 10man that gets the job done in half the time, but was stopped for the reason that the gear and content isn’t as cool as the 25man level stuff. And you know what? I bet each and every Raid Leader, Guild Officer, and many of us regular old raiders, etc., have had the same thought a time or two ourselves.

On the other hand, I can see how casual and social guilds will be MORE viable at 25man level. 10mans are simply harder as a result of less class diversity when you are pushing progression. There is always someone in every 25man guild that is there because we like them more than their skills. You know who I am talking about. The lovable but not as savvy players that are tucked away in the corners of our guilds. Hanging with us, BGing with us, and being awesome in guild chat, and filling in the raid spots when attendance is low. I foresee there being more room in 25man raids for this kind of player than in 10man progression guilds. Maybe Cataclysm will see the rise of the great social 25man guilds.

Waiting to see how this will pan out.


giggle/rant/sob of the day

April 20, 2010

Reading this post about healing the Lich King fight and I come across the humorous line,

“if for some reason you still run with a group of window lickers that still don’t understand the benefits and abilities of a discipline priest, this fight alone should change their mind.”

I cant help but laugh. I mean, I cry a little too, but I am laughing. My guildies certainly don’t think they are window lickers (in fact some of them kinda have a high opinion of themselves), but there are still far too many of the influential people in this guild that honestly think they are carrying the guild disc priest. You know.. the one who is always so low low low on direct healing numbers.

It’s not like I am a bad. I do my part, I research the fights before we get to a new boss and I don’t make any more mistakes than anyone else. Plus I am a priest, I survive some crazy stuff due to my CD’s and burst healing. But because the default healing chart that comes with Recount is only for direct heals, and mitigation is a new concept to most WoW players, there are some who look at that chart or any deviation in my performance as proof I am not pulling my weight. Human psychology dictates that once a person is convinced that another is a bad at something, even if this person isn’t any better or worse than any other, the person in question must work ten times harder to disprove the erroneous opinion. Any mistake or error on their part is normally magnified ten times worse as proof of their earlier (and in this case wrong) opinion.

On the two non-disc friendly fights I keep my head above water. On BQ I float in the upper middle of the chart and on dreamwalker I just focus on tank healing, PI the Pally, and feel grateful I am not sent out of the room in shame. But in the rest of the fights my output varies from leading with as much as 44% of the overall healing to being head to head, toe to toe with the two other top healers in the guild.

But it doesn’t make for a fun evening when you are being doubted and constantly under fire. From being called out  in vent by an officer about my low healing output in Dreamwalker, to having one guild member recently flip out and Gquit during a raid after telling me that the only reason I am in this guild is that people feel sorry for me, it’s a nightly struggle to just keep my sanity over what I know I am contributing. The worst time I have of it is in my ten man group where every week I have to gently but firmly point out that whatever heroic encounter we are learning at the moment would not be better done with me as a Holy Priest. Usually posting the Heal+absorb meter quiets the demands for me to stop being a Disc Scrubb, but the ensuing comments from showing just how much further ahead my output is on the meter switches to resentful statements like “gee wish I only had to spam one button to top meters” (a resto drood said that last week) and “you can tell a healer is good based on their direct heals”,  and my personal all-time favorite, “your legendary mace is healing for you, so absorbs don’t count on the meters”. You really cant win if people don’t want to change.

All this would come to naught if it weren’t for two really awesome officers in my guild. Without these two people having my back, I probably wouldn’t have made it past the first month with this guild. They lobby constantly to educate others on how a Disc Priest heals, and always show support for me when the other officers question my abilities and direct heal numbers. And to be quite honest, not everyone feels this way. Most guildies understand that a disc priest’s most beneficial utilities to a raid wont show up on a direct heal meter, and the others trust the healing lead who advocates on my behalf.

That said, I think it’s disheartening that my two friends have to work so hard for tolerance of such a necessary raid healing class at a time in the expansion when everyone should know what the other classes can do, and show team support even if they don’t. But there you have it. People are people and they will always fuss and fidget about everything under the sun.


She cant be serious?

April 19, 2010

Every time a new Spiritual Guidance article comes out, I rush over to full of hope that there is something interesting and informative being published. But lately, that joy is tarnished into wondering if the author has gotten the facts right on yet another rehash of the same old priest mash. Unfortunately, it’s not showing any signs of changing for the better. =(

This time the latest how-to article for Priests is aimed at mediocre min-maxxing as the most practical ways to spec in late Xpac content like ICC. To be fair, Dawn always posts a disclaimer that some people may see things differently than she does or remember things in a different way. But one teeny line saying “YMMV” doesn’t give a proper journalistic neutral tone to a gigantic post about the way she states the priest class works. I am not sure if its her absolute statements about “how things are” or her over-confidence and then missed marks on theory-crafting, but I rarely see eye to eye with the way she presents the priest class.

Call me cranky, but I think after so many months of this she’d start learning how to not make so many absolute statements and start accepting that this game and the class is more complex than most people have time to sift through. Her job is to explain things and give us insight – not dumb it down and get it wrong. Most topics presented in the Spiritual Guidance column seem like unusual interpretations of threads long ago discussed on or strange histories that don’t jive with the way most of us old timers remember things. I am not sure how she can get things wrong when most of what she is writing about has already been blogged to death on most other Healing sites.

Some of the best content she has published is clear in her great sense of humor. She is wonderful about making jokes and creating cool names for the Disc Healer. That, in and of itself is why I keep coming back. I really really *want* to like her. Unfortunately, some of the worst is bragging about her gear score, links to her personal blog, and “follow me” links for her twitter.

I’d like to see something new, not another regurgitation of the same old same old grabbed hastily from various websites that the community already reads. Fact checking, and making sure what you post is mathematically accurate and plausible is a nice step too. I also wish I had more strength of limb and life and had the energy to cheerfully and politely give a counter point to what I see as the worst interpretations she presents as facts. But I can’t. I only have so much time, so much energy and so much patience. My health comes first.

Its getting annoying Dawn. Please start making sense.

* Added on 4/20/2010 while researching more about Dawn, in an effort to understand her better, I came across this post between her and zusterke this morning. this shows the girl has her stuff together. Now.. the question remains, how do we get her to show she knows what she knows in her column.


its heinous, but its BIS, so you wear it… and you hate yourself…

April 1, 2010

Best in Slot. Sigh.

This term means there is an item available in the game that is considered the best of what is out there for your spec or class. Sometimes its an easy choice, there is often only one trinket or bracer or whatever that is clearly tops for your avatar. Sometimes it’s not so easy to choose, as blizzard did a good job providing many choices for that slot.

Sometimes the item is a beautiful item, which graces your toon and makes it even more beautiful in your eyes. The gear delights your senses just as much as it satisfies your desire for better game play. But other times, and IMHO, far too often, it’s a rather ugly item, one that only the most competitive will begrudgingly wear, and then only because it is.. Best in Slot.

This time the ugly item is a belt. Both of the most recent belts for both tier 9 and tier 10 level gear have been hideous in my opinion. They are large and clunky, look like a pro-wrestling belt trophy, and make my avatar appear pregnant. They come off looking like she has a puffy muffin wrapped around her waist.

Sigh. It’s not pretty, but until I reach level 95, I am pretty sure I am stuck with it. >.<

Somewhere out there is an evil gaming gear graphics designer that is laughing his ass off. All the way to the bank. =P